Challenge #22: Naked Midnight Run!

Got your attention, haven’t I?

Let us say this did not go at all as I expected.

I did not expect this to be one of the spontaneous ones! I especially did not expect somebody else to join me!

I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT EXPECT A FOOTBALL OVAL OR OTHER PEOPLE’S SEX LIVES TO BE INVOLVED.

Bwahahahhahahaha. Admit it, you’re curious (and maybe just a little concerned).

Yeah, so I promised I would do my usual route at midnight, in the nuddy, once I was confident that I could maintain a steady pace. Real Mum discouraged this (as did Real Dad a bit later)*. But I recently proved that I am capable of doing a solid 10km in under an hour when conditions are right. We still have warm nights, but they’ll be getting colder soon. The Naked Midnight Run was probably fast approaching …

Real Mum and Real Dad will surely be pleased to know that this didn’t exactly happen.

Last night I went to the drive-in for the second time this week. This time it was organised by School Chum Anton Lawyer, who has been getting all kinds of stuff done as a Real Lawyer Man with a Real job, and good on him! High School Pal Shadow Bucket was present, and we ended up getting sidetracked by a rather lengthy D&M where we discussed all manner of things, occasionally interrupted by High School Pal The Muse and others, who were only capable of diverting the flow of our Terribly Important Dual Ramble, not stopping it. It was a solid catch-up, and when the place was closing up me and Shadow Bucket weren’t done with our rambling, so we headed off to Victoria’s First Macca’s, also known as The Maccas Quite Close To My House.

At a certain point the conversation got to Nakedness. My disdain for and lack of understanding of clothing is well documented, I think. I maintain that I basically wear things to keep everyone else happy. My most recent bouts of Social Nakedness included going to a Man Spa with Queen Snow’s father (King Spring) in China, which was fine, and at Confest when I lost track of my friends and found myself facing an outdoor jacuzzi and tent sauna.

The Next Day: FINE I'LL NOT BE NAKED NOW

We got to picking at what the big deal with being naked around people you knew was. I discussed at unnecessary length how this awesome hat I bought was ridiculed by customers, and that I was fascinated by the fact that I wasn’t bothered. In fact, I was amused at how they made such a big deal out of it. I loved that hat, so I didn’t care what they thought. (P.S. I may have lost that hat last night sometime ==). Was I ashamed of my body then, if I felt awkward about being naked in front of people I knew? Was it the simple fact that I knew deep down, that These People Don’t Want You To Be Naked Right Now and that mattered? The more I thought about it the less sense I was able to find.

Meanwhile, it turned out Shadow Bucket had a world of Melbourne Uni Engineer student secrets to spill – basically they apparently get naked all the time for pretty much no reason, oftentimes while completely sober. The most potentially disturbing thing he shared was that they once played scarecrow tiggy with no clothes on, just to throw inhibition out the window. This amused me no end. Shadow Bucket was wondering, however – would he feel as comfortable doing the same random ridiculousness with non-uni people?

AND THEN WE MADE OUT.

Nah not really 😛

But I did mention the Naked Midnight Run challenge that I’d set for myself. At this point it was about 3am and we were heading back to our cars. Shadow Bucket leapt at this and basically declared that THERE HAD BEEN FAR TOO MUCH TALK OF NAKEDNESS THIS EVENING GIVEN HOW LITTLE NAKEDNESS HAD ACTUALLY GONE DOWN.

There was a moment that felt awfully similar to the one Monday night when I ran the 10km – I realised I had set myself a challenge, that the time and place was right, that there was absolutely no reason not to just do it instead of saying I’d do it later. Two in one week – I am starting to really love these moments. I shook my head at my old High School Pal Shadow Bucket, laughed at him for undoing his belt in the McDonald’s carpark, and conceded, “okay fine I think I know the place.”

Two minutes later our cars were parked in front of a soccer oval not too far from my home, walking around the perimeter under the stars with a cool breeze gently caressing our everythings. The conversation continued pretty much as naturally as it had before, although there were occasional breaks in which we laughed sort of hysterically at the ludicrousness of it all. We wondered how Anton Lawyer would feel knowing that he was partly responsible for this, or how Numbers McSweater would deal with the knowledge that this had gone down.

Mostly it was funny because of how not a big deal it obviously was. It just seemed so pointless for people to get all worked up or embarrassed about this sort of thing.

We made it about halfway around the oval when we saw another car parked on the opposite end of the oval. As we approached, we started wondering what it was doing there. The obvious conclusion was that it likely contained a Midnight Couple doing Midnight Things. It occurred to us that we would be a freaking hilarious and disturbing sight for two people making out or whatever in a car if they happened to glance up, and basically became convinced that there was almost definitely a couple making out in that car.

Seriously, what else do people park in front of soccer ovals at 3am for?

I’m not sure which one of us started it, but suddenly we were bolting away from the car as fast as we could go. NEKKID MIDNIGHT SPRINTING bwahahahaha etc! I easily took the lead – but that may have just been because Shadow Bucket wanted to see the moonlight on my bottom. It wouldn’t surprise me.

We laughed like idiot children all the way back to our pile of clothes and I reprimanded him for wearing shoes the whole time, which I’d only now noticed.

I had started my day getting up early to catch the train so I could be in the city for an all-day training session related to Immigration Law. I had not expected my day to end with an airborne NEKKID HIGH FIVE. But that’s the beauty of being actively on the lookout for new experiences and hanging out with the right combination of nutbars. You never know what’s going to happen, but you can bet your moonlit butt it’s not gonna be all that scary or difficult if your attitude’s good.

Anything can happen. Why the hell not?

*oh Real Mum and Real Dad, why can’t you be more supportive of my childish and pointless endeavours???