March Round Up

Completed: 18 out of 76 Challenges!

Don’t ask me what it is, but there’s just something MAGICAL about walking through the shopping centre with a practically-shaved head, stubble eyebrows, newly pierced ear, baggy shorts and singlet while barefoot, during peak morning old-people/domestic housewife traffic (11am-noonish).

Whatever it is, it makes me feel super-chilled and it makes old people flinch and it also allows me to walk in a straight line at whatever pace I feel like without ever bumping into anybody – because looking like this, at this hour, makes me the dodgiest-looking mofo-flipper out.

It’s very zen. It’s kind of eye-opening, really.

When I stopped to give directions to this lost-looking little old Asian woman, a passer-by slowed down and gave me this real long, careful stare as he walked past. Big bloke, maybe 10 years older than me at most. He looked like he thought I might be asking her for drugs. When she smiled and thanked me this bloke looked all the more suspicious.

Oh and before she realised I was giving her directions, she flinched at my attempt to get her attention.

I caught a glance at my reflection as I passed by some store windows. Haha. I looked like I belonged at a train station, where I ought to be bumming smokes off people or “spare change for a met ticket”. Until that moment, I’d actually forgotten how I was dressed, etc. I’d just gotten out of bed, dropped Queen Snow off at the train station, and suddenly remembered a couple grocery items I wanted to pick up. Before catching my reflection, I’d felt totally comfy and chilled as I inadvertently stalked the local shopping centre. Even though I became increasingly aware of people staring (some I would say were GLARING!), it didn’t seem to get to me that morning.

Not actually how I felt, but how cool are these pictures? 😛

Then I saw myself in a shop window and I had my answer. Heh.

Amazingly, this didn’t bother me. I suffered no depressing revelations about how people are too judgemental. I experienced no slow-boiling rant-rage about how stupid it was to be distrustful of someone for such arbitrary reasons as his poor fashion sense, disdain for shoes and missing eyebrows.

Heh, I thought. You look kinda stupid.

And then I accidentally cemented the “crazy street man” look I had going by giggling, shaking my head and pointing at the window. I think the lady in the shop might have thought I was crazy-laughing at her. I wondered for a moment if I should go in and explain myself, but then I remembered: groceries!

Not a single person here would suspect that I could have given those directions in Mandarin if that woman had preferred, my amused inner monologue went on. They might be surprised to learn that in a few short weeks I will be an officially Registered Migration Agent, and that I have two volunteer gigs lined up for next month. I wonder if their idea of this scary-looking man would change much if they learned that he looks like this mostly because he helped raise more than $2500 for a cancer charity?

It was like wearing a disguise. It was like being in on an awesome secret that nobody but me could fully understand. I knew that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I knew I was a friendly, decent sort who could earn the respect of most of these dudes and ladies over 5 minutes and a coffee – because somehow I knew I was just like any of them, with or without their immediate express approval.

I even knew that, should the coffee thing not pan out, the sun would keep rising of a morning, eggplant would still be real and awesome, and that no matter what anyone thought – MY TASTE IN HATS WOULD STILL BE SECOND TO NONE.

Ohhhh … came the epiphany – this is what self esteem feels like I guess?

I dare you to disagree with the hat thing

I guess I intended this whole project to be a diversion of sorts – something to keep me occupied in my spare time. But it’s become pretty clear now that at some point something snapped in me and now all I care about is getting what I want out of my life, and giving what I can.

Go on, disagree. You're only making yourself wronger

It is ridiculous how much I’ve been learning (and sometimes just remembering). Things are simpler than I thought.

The biggest lessons so far, I’d say, have all been about what I don’t need. I know this sounds cheesey but I’ve been feeling lighter and freer with every passing achievement.

I don’t need to wait for permission. I give myself permission.

I don’t need to wait for someone to pat me on the back and tell me I’m a really kickarse dude. I … actually don’t care that much as long as I’m having a kickarse time?

I don’t need to fear getting hurt, cos that’ll happen anyway. Might as well stop holding back and just enjoy myself while I’m at it. (This is important when say, you’re trying to do a handspring or whatever :P)

I most definitely do not need to do things “the way they are done” if it clashes with my own priorities.

I’ve known all of this rationally for a while. I’m sure you do too. But there is just SOMETHING about powering through a list of all the awesome shit you’ve been putting off for so long that really makes you believe deep down in your core: yeah, I got this.

*****

COMPLETED
aw yeah

#21a. Raffle Rights to Snipping Rat-Tail For Charity
#23. Prepare for the next adventure – from now on, everything is preparing for the next adventure 😉
#24. Be kind to myself

STILL NEEDS SOME LOVE
we’ll get there

#11. 100 push ups Challenge
#12. 200 sit ups Challenge
#13. Create cool techie gear
#14. Make/mod own clothes
#15. Cook new dishes every week
#17. Showy and/or pointless martial arts/breakdance moves
#18. Recover Japanese!
#19. Shave like it’s olden days

LOOK FORWARD TO THESE
they might happen soon, might not – just know
I got some mofo-flippin’ PLANS for these ones mofo-flippa

• Perform poetry slam
• Spread good will
• Volunteer work
• Travel somewhere