Days Without Cigarettes: 59
Current Weight: 78.7
Happy Thoughts Recorded: 337
Average Word Count: 777
100 push ups: –
100 sit ups: –
***
To quote Housemate Kermit Brown: “Can we go ONE conversation without talking about cavemen?!”
So yeah, lately I’ve been a little caught up in that. I’ve recruited a couple more head-shavers, place is booked, got a handful of people happy to step up and be involved in food etc on the day. If the team raises $1500 I will have my chest waxed while tied to a tree. $1700 and I will have my legs done while I balance on my head. $2000 and I remove my eyebrows with an epilator. I’ve been having awesome fun brainstorming different ways to generate attention and get people we don’t know interested in the event, some might pan out and some might not.
Still sitting on $300, which is interesting since quite a few people said they were going to donate, but I have no experience with this whole fundraising on the internet dealie. Maybe people are planning to do it later. Maybe people intend to hand me cold, hard cash on the day.
Maybe NOBODY CARES AND THIS IS ALL GOING TO FALL APART IN THE MOST PATHETIC ANTICLIMACTIC WAY POSSIBLE AND I’M JUST GOING TO LOOK SILLY WITH MY FAIL DREADS FOR THE NEXT COUPLE WEEKS FOR NO GOOD REASON.
Oh, right – I have Fail Dreads right now! Basically, dreads are a process – really awesome proper dreads take more time than my hair’s going to last, considering that it’s all going March 17. But I’m sure they’ll look good enough for the part on the day. Right now I just smell like beeswax, which suits me fine.
Disclaimer: I don’t think having dreads make you a “caveman”, I happen to think they’re awesome and like any sane human being of my generation I’ve been looking for an excuse to make them happen. Part of what I think makes them cool is that they can make a person look more “wild” and “tough”. I’m sure we’ve all seen examples of that not working out, but yeah – it’s something we’re a little wary of, we don’t want to give the impression that we associate really awesome things we want to include on the day with “backwardness”. For example, if I were to do a martial art or dance moves inspired by “monkey movements”, would I be saying that I thought that culture was overly primitive? Not really, I’m just going for the monkey thing, because the pop culture caveman moves like a monkey and that is awesome that there are cultures that bothered to imitate monkeys, mine happens not to be one of them. Back when I had my own Argentinean Mr Miyagi, he called me a “monkey spirit” and I thought that was just the coolest thing ever.
That’s enough hole-digging for one post! So with the event in mind, I’ve been a little conscious of my physique again. After all, if I’m waxing my upper body then people will see my upper body? So I’m too tired to do the push-ups/sit-ups thing, which wasn’t going as well as I’d hoped anyway. Instead I randomly do crunches and sit ups and so on for the hell of it every day, in the hopes that something happens there, and I use the weights that Singing Housemate Jay left in the lounge room every time I walk past. My arms are killing me right now, which I understand to be a Good Thing.
And I’ve been practising jumping around “caveman” style, reviving that old monkey spirit in the backyard. This has resulted in further attempts to do forward handsprings, I swear I’m getting closer to success there. It’s hard to describe if you’ve never attempted this sort of thing yourself, but basically I have identified the exact moment where I need to “explode” (a burst of energy, where I push off both my hands, hips and legs at the same time), but my timing’s a little off. I have high hopes for this handspring thing.
I’m also climbing way too many things and the other day I got some proper air time trying to do a backflip (I lean too much to one side so the result is more a backwards cartwheel with no hands that I land on my stomach and elbow. It probably looks hilarious, and it feels both hilarious and awesome). That involves a little jump, a crouch, and a backwards “explosion”. The problem is that when I go backwards into the bridge (one of the first tricks I ever learned) I always lean to one side first instead of sending both arms back at once. So I might need to break that habit in order to get this one right. No idea how long that’ll take. Oh and I’m doing lunges every day, soon enough I’ll be able to do the splits again.
Did I mention I was once able to do the splits?
Funnily enough, all of this has been interfering with my running, which in January was 3x a week, 8.5km for at least two of those. Lately I’ve been going for CASUAL STROLLS with Queen Snow, or trying to run but flipping out at my iPhone for malfunctioning (it shuffles and skips when it wants to, bitch). Last night I decided I was due another 8km no matter what, so off I went. My iPhone played nice, and even offered some nice mellow tunes that kept me at a steady pace (including one from my favourite Minstrel Lute! Suuuuulaiiiman!) Somehow within 35 minutes I’d already cleared 7km, so I figured, what the hell? I kept running past my house with a new mission: 3km in 25 minutes.
Turned out, I could handle it. I know that 2 months ago, maybe even 1 month ago, I couldn’t have done that.
So let’s cross that one off the list 
A Year of Monthly Challenges 